August 29, 2002 - 11:25 a.m.
Dear Avril Lavigne,
Please shut the hell up. Please shut up so much. Please take off those stupid pants and put down that guitar that we all know full well you are not playing.
Please stop being an uberposer mallrat. Please realize that I am more punk rock than you, and I'm 26 with an office job. If you have any questions regarding these requests, please feel free to contact me so I can push you.
Thank you for your cooperation you big, big spaz.